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    November 13

    几乎干

     
     
    从这个星期一那天开始,几乎每天上班打开电脑后我的第一个姿态就是准备写blog,感觉堆积了许多情绪需要卸载,可是不知怎的一直像是一个旋转的陀螺,每一件琐事就像一鞭子抽得我转个不停,不明白咋就有那么多琐碎的事儿呢?琐碎得真是泡在水里就能速溶的感觉,真替自己悲哀。悬而未决的blog,我对不起你,我是打算几乎天天写,没想到变成了天天几乎写。
     
    怀韦潮汐之前,我们曾做过全套的孕前检查,是那种相当高科技的、全面的检查,然而有点小小遗憾的是收了那么许多银子,望闻问切却不是一对一的,也许是生孩子对医生太来说只是个流水线的事儿吧,我当时是和其他两名妇女一同坐在女医生的对面,像面试似的回答她不容回避的问题。好多话题真的令人汗颜无从回答,比如说:“你是经产妇吗(生过孩子么)?你得过性病、妇科病么?你怀过几次孕?什么时候开始有性行为?”……这可都是不折不扣的隐私啊,这些问题有的甚至连老公们都未必知道正确答案,却要我们当着一般人儿说出来,简直跟梦一样。最猛的一个问题是“你每周会过几次夫妻生活?”我竖着耳朵听到新婚的女人用蚊子般的声音哼哼唧唧了半天说:“几乎每天吧”,想孩子想疯了的中年妇女也不得不低头脸红说:“几乎每天吧”,轮到我,我都傻眼了,我是汪大明白啊,我能输了气势么?三思后我说:“每天几乎吧”。还好医生的文学修养不高,没搞明白各种不同,我也蒙混过关了。
     
    我常常就觉得生孩子是个迷一样的事情,仿佛一切形成过程只跟我们的一套动作有点关系,其余皆是造物主的意志决定的,我们一直很无力,孩子是怎么形成的我不知道,孩子头该朝哪个方向我劝他不听,脐带绕脖子好几圈了,我也束手无策,韦潮汐就像一只寄居蟹生活在我的身体里,他有他的使命,他可能是上帝派来惩罚纵欲的亚当夏娃的使者,我们却浑然不知,因此我们用尽毕生精力做牛做马的抚养他,服侍他,直到最终被他榨取的干巴巴的老死掉为止。好恐怖的复活节故事啊。韦潮汐你就招了吧!妈妈都揭穿你的真实面目了,你还扮可爱!
     

    Comments (3)

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    裕珊 李wrote:
    你还是这么搞笑!爱死你了!哈哈
    Nov. 17
    琳琳wrote:
    每天几乎吧,这话很牛!哈哈
    Nov. 17
    太搞笑了
    怎么广州的医生没有问尼
    Nov. 16

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